The last half of the 20th century saw many changes. One of the most profound was the rejection of traditional roles for men and women in the family and in society. Those roles are outlined in the Bible. As the Western world cut itself loose from the moorings of Scripture, pressure mounted to discount and discard the traditional biblical roles for men and women. Today we are a society adrift without an anchor. We blindly assume that “anything goes”—that everything is OK and nothing is fixed in stone—especially so-called “archaic” ideas about roles for men and women. But have we been hoodwinked? Have we bought into bogus ideas? In this article we will examine the biblical roles of men and women. We will look at mankind’s arguments for rejecting God’s fundamental instructions, His purpose for creating these roles and the challenges facing those today who try to recapture principles that promote strong and stable families and societies.
Costs of Change
Since the 1960s, many in the freedom-loving West have jettisoned, with no thought of the cost, traditional values that have guided our lives for millennia. As a new century dawns, the tragic consequences are becoming obvious. In the last 40 years, divorce rates have increased around the world, particularly in the West. More and more children are born into, or grow up in, fractured single-parent (largely fatherless) homes. Boys from such homes are more angry and aggressive and spend more time in jail. Girls are sexually active at younger ages and are more rebellious. Boys and girls from such homes exhibit more psychological problems. Gender confusion has blossomed as traditional roles have been trashed. Homosexuality is blatantly promoted as an acceptable lifestyle. Women have become more aggressive and men more passive. Deprived of clearly identified roles, more people are seeking psychological help to discover a purpose in life and a meaningful identity.
In the face of these disturbing social trends, many clamor for studies to determine the cause, and for legislation to solve the problems. The connection between social pathologies and the rejection of traditional biblical roles is not always appreciated. Yet Nobel prize-winning Austrian zoologist Konrad Lorenz made a telling observation more than a quarter century ago, calling “the break with tradition” one of the “great errors of our Western civilization” and a sign of “collective stupidity” (Civilized Man’s Eight Deadly Sins, Lorenz, p. xii, 1974). He wrote that to think we can “throw overboard the enormous fund of knowledge and wisdom contained in the traditions of every old civilization and in the teaching of the great world religions is an erroneous belief” (Ibid., p. 63). But why would knowledgeable people toss important and even fundamental traditions overboard?
Arguments Against Roles
Our actions have been influenced by liberal secular ideas that permeate our modern society. Anything that has religious roots is suspect. To suggest that something is right or wrong is seen as judgmental. To believe that our lives should be structured in any way (especially by prescribed religious roles) is viewed as a limitation on human freedom and a stifling of individual fulfillment. Intellectuals view traditional roles as outdated sexual stereotypes that have functioned as oppressive cages down through history. As sophisticated modern people, we have been conditioned to think that guidelines found in the Bible are “primitive” and no longer relevant—especially biblical roles for men and women.
Liberal theologians support similar arguments by twisting or ignoring the Scriptures. They assert that since men and women are both made in the image of God (Genesis 1:26–27), there are really no fundamental differences between the sexes, so men and women should be equally free to pursue any role they desire. These thinkers assert that biology is not destiny, but that is their wishful thinking. Men do not give birth to babies—or nurse them! Biology is destiny in many ways. Ignoring God’s counsel that it is not good for human beings to be alone (Genesis 2:18), independence is promoted today as the way to fulfillment. Noted feminist Gloria Steinem gained attention by declaring that “a woman without a man is like a fish without a bicycle.” The idea that men and women might actually need each other seems ridiculous to the modern mind.
Today the biblical idea that men should take the lead in marriage and family matters, and that women should respect men’s leadership, is viewed as hopelessly old-fashioned and even laughable. Some misguided theologians contend that the idea that a woman was created to be a “helpmeet” or suitable partner for a man “demeans” a woman and makes her an “afterthought” and a second-class citizen. Others argue that if a woman follows a man she is guilty of idolatry; they say that the biblical instruction about woman’s submission was the result of Eve’s sin and was not part of God’s original plan. The Apostle Paul’s comments about the roles of men and women are said to be misguided, chauvinistic, biased and bigoted—perhaps even forgeries or, at most, temporary instructions no longer applicable to Christians today. The Galatians 3:28 statement that “there is neither male nor female… in Christ Jesus” is often used as a “trump card” in an attempt to supersede all other scriptures on the topic and nullify traditional biblical gender roles. Are these errors related? Is there a conspiracy at work?
What is largely forgotten or overlooked today is that a powerful, unseen force is promoting dangerous ideas in our modern world. The Bible plainly reveals that Satan is the god [prevailing influence] of this world, and that he blinds the minds of most people (2 Corinthians 4:4).
Satan (which means “adversary” in Hebrew) is described as one who has deceived the whole world (Revelation 12:9). He fosters rebellion against God’s way (Isaiah 14:12–15) and causes the “way of truth” to be “blasphemed”—despised and rejected (2 Peter 2:2). Most liberal scholars today, whether secular or theological, do not realize that many of the ideas they promote are influenced by this powerful, unseen force. Satan is out to discredit and destroy biblical roles for men and women because they play vital parts in God’s purpose for mankind. That purpose is exciting and inspiring.
Proper Perspective
Scripture plainly indicates that God did not create the first two human beings “gender neutral”—He created them male and female (Genesis 1:26–27). They were created different by design. Men and women are each to reflect God’s image and character in their own unique way as they learn to fulfill their God-given roles. God’s purpose was for men and women to have children and learn to live in a family relationship (Genesis 1:28; 2:24–25). Biblical roles play an important part in this process. Adam was created first, from the ground, and was given instructions and responsibilities to carry out—to dress the garden, name the animals and prepare a home for his family. He was to be the achiever—the husband and father—to lead, guide, serve and provide (Genesis 2:15, 19–20). The Bible reveals that the primary roles of men would be leadership in the family and in the public sphere. Eve was created second, from Adam’s rib, for a relationship (Genesis 2:18). The man-woman relationship was to be life-long, monogamous, enjoyable for both and separate from parents (Genesis 2:24).
Scripture plainly states that it is not good to be independent and alone, and that God created woman as a suitable companion for man—one who completes the other (Genesis 2:18). Her primary (but not exclusive) role is in the domestic sphere as a wife and mother and manager of the household (Genesis 3:20; Proverbs 31:10–31). A major mistake of our modern society has been the demeaning of this incredibly important domestic role. God’s creation of woman was a culminating event, not an afterthought (see Deuteronomy 24:5; Proverbs 12:4; 18:22; 19:14). It is through the female function of childbirth that God is adding to His family, yet God instructed males to provide the support that surrounds this miraculous process. In proper perspective, the biblical roles of men and women are designed to work in a beautiful and complementary manner. They are not intended to be competitive or demeaning; each partner has an equally important part to play.
In the New Testament, Paul amplifies the roles outlined in the Old Testament. He reveals that there is structure in the biblical concept of family. Men are to lead, love and cherish their wives, and women are to submit to and respect the husband’s leadership role (Ephesians 5:22–25). This governmental structure in the home is a type of the relationship between Christ and the Church. Christ loves, leads and serves the Church, which in turn responds and serves Christ in fulfilling its assigned mission. These complementary roles picture how God wants His family to operate—harmoniously, as a team. These vital roles are designed to help us prepare for the kingdom of God.
Paul also emphasizes that men will carry the primary leadership role in the public sphere, and that the primary role of women will be in the domestic sphere (1 Corinthians 14:34–35; 1 Timothy 2:11–15). However, women are not excluded from work outside the home (Proverbs 31:13–16, 20, 24; Acts 16:14), especially when children are not involved. Peter adds that men are to strive to understand and meet the needs of their wives, and that wives are to cultivate a supportive and respectful attitude towards their husbands as an example to them (1 Peter 3:1–7). Husbands and wives, with their different roles, are equally valued members of a team. Older men and women are to serve as role models and mentors to the young (Titus 2:1–8) so these vital skills can be transmitted to future generations.
Many of the mistaken ideas about traditional roles for men and women have come from a perversion of God’s intended relationship between the sexes (see Genesis 3:16–19). As a result of sinful human actions, and ideas that ignore or reject God’s instructions, the birth and rearing of children has become a trial instead of a joy. Because some men have abused their God-given leadership role in the family, women have been dominated and oppressed. The woman’s assigned responsibility of willing (but not blind and unquestioning) submission has been twisted into a resented subjugation, and she has often been provoked into open rebellion. Problems that have occurred throughout history are not caused by the God-given roles, but by perverted and distorted ideas about those roles! Satan has twisted into instruments of oppression the fundamental God-given guidelines for society’s smooth functioning (Isaiah 5:20). It is no wonder that our modern society has rejected misguided concepts that are wrongly assumed to have come from the Bible. The challenge we face today, as individuals and as a society, is how to restore an understanding of the Truth in a world filled with deceptive ideas about the roles of men and women.
Implementing Biblical Roles
The initial step in gaining a true understanding of the biblical roles for men and women is to see through the smoke screen of deception that Satan has cast over this world. Satan has used individuals in our liberal and secular society to promote lies, half-truths and misguided arguments to discredit fundamental God-given guidelines. Part of the mission of the end-time era of the Church of God is to “recapture true values”—to “restore all things” and “prepare the way” for the return of Jesus Christ to this earth (Matthew 17:11; Malachi 3:1). However, anyone who chooses this path enters into a spiritual war (2 Corinthians 10:3–6; Ephesians 6:10–20). The challenge will be formidable and the cause will not be popular (Matthew 24:9–13), but there will be rewards in this life and beyond (Matthew 19:29; Revelation 11:17–18).
The second step is to realize that men and women were created to play different but equally important roles in God’s master plan (see Different by Design, Burke, 2000). Different does not mean superior or inferior—it means different, comparable and complementary—each completing the other. The modern idea of men and women competing in a “battle” of the sexes, dominating or rebelling against each other or striving to function independently of each other, is a satanic deception destroying the very fabric of our society. We must learn to appreciate, value, enjoy and respect the biological and psychological differences between men and women. These innate and acquired differences can attract or repel, enhance or erode the relationship experience (see Opposites Attract, LaHaye, 1991). Men and women must learn to cultivate and nurture, in themselves and their children, God-given roles designed around differences.
The third step is to understand the biblical role of men. Each man should strive to identify and develop his unique talents and abilities. He must learn how to lead (see The Man of Steel and Velvet, Andelin, 1972). Men must develop skills to protect, provide for and guide their families with confidence. They must develop character to be examples and make worthwhile contributions to society. Godly men must also develop understanding, humility, gentleness, and attentiveness so they can properly show concern and affection to the women who become their wives and daughters. Men must learn how to meet the unique needs of women (see His Needs, Her Needs, Harley, 1994). While some modern intellectuals assert that fathers are unnecessary in child-rearing, godly men must learn and practice their unique part in molding their children—modeling true masculinity, fostering respect for women, providing discipline and showing love. These are all important aspects of the masculine role.
The fourth step is to understand the biblical role of women. Each woman needs to identify and develop her own unique talents and abilities. However, in this process, she should never lose sight of the incredibly important roles that God has designed her to fulfill—bearing and raising children, nurturing relationships and managing a household that creates a warm environment away from the world for her entire family. A special challenge for women is to learn how to submit to (follow, work with and respect) her husband in accordance with the biblical instruction (see The Excellent Wife, Peace, 1999; Then God Created Woman, Newman, 1997; The Surrendered Wife, Doyle, 2001; Me? Obey Him? Handford, 1994).
Women who want to be outstanding and effective wives must also learn to understand and meet the needs of their husbands (see His Needs, Her Needs, Harley, 1994). Men and women have many of the same needs, but have different priorities—which makes this an interesting challenge. As mothers, women have their own unique contributions to make in raising their children—teaching boys the importance of character and how to understand and respect girls, and teaching their daughters how to be women, wives and mothers. Women without children can also serve as role models as they develop their unique capacities to serve others.
The fifth step in understanding the biblical roles of men and women takes us back to the beginning in Genesis. Men and women were each created to reflect the image and character of God in unique ways. The God-designed roles we have discussed in this article are complementary roles—leading and following, serving and supporting, loving and responding. As both partners develop their respective skills, the man-woman relationship becomes more harmonious and enjoyable. The goal of God’s master plan is for men and women to learn the way to peace and harmony—not confusion, competition, domination or rebellion (1 Corinthians 14:33). These are the qualities God wants future members of His family to develop—so they can teach these skills to the world in the Kingdom of God (Isaiah 9:6–7; 30:20–21).
It is both interesting and instructive that Jesus Christ learned to play each of the roles that God assigned to men and women. He learned to lead and to follow, to use authority and to submit to authority, to love and to serve and to respond. This is the perspective we must develop as men and women—the very mind of Jesus Christ (Philippians 2:5–11). We will develop this mindset as we learn to fulfill the biblical roles that God designed for men and women. These roles are not archaic and out-of-date—they are the real keys to success in this life and will be taught to all mankind in the coming Kingdom of God.
Do not be deceived by modern arguments designed to destroy the most fundamental roles in a stable human society. Strive to understand and live by God’s instructions. The benefits stretch from here to eternity.