“Of making many books there is no end,” said Solomon (Ecclesiastes 12:12). Certainly there seems almost no end to the number of books that so-called “experts” have written on child rearing. From a wide variety of backgrounds and philosophies, experts contradict each other and leave a cloud of confusion in many parents’ minds.
What, then, is the real purpose of child rearing, beyond the obvious need to take care of the little ones we bring into the world? Is there anything more important than simply to rear them to become independent and competent adults who will, in turn, bring more children into the world?
For millennia, the cycle of human life has continued. Children are born, they grow up, and most eventually produce children of their own. One generation dies, and is replaced by the next. Yet few have understood the answer to the age-old question: “What is the purpose of this repeating cycle of life?” To those steeped in the mistaken belief system of evolution, their only conclusion is that this cycle of human life exists solely to reproduce the species. Life has no meaning, they believe; it just exists.
To those of us who have proved, for ourselves, the existence of the Creator God, it logically follows that our Creator made us for a purpose. The Word of God very clearly reveals that incredible purpose: “Then God said, ‘Let Us make man in Our image, according to Our likeness’” (Genesis 1:26). Human beings were created in the likeness of the God Family. If we are willing to be trained by the Family of God (God the Father and Jesus Christ), and to develop in ourselves the very character and mindset of God Himself, at Christ’s return we can literally be fully born into the Family of God, in which Jesus Christ was “the firstborn among many brethren” (Romans 8:29).
In the meantime, “as many as are led by the Spirit of God, these are sons of God.… The Spirit… bears witness with our spirit that we are the children of God” (Romans 8:14, 16). What an awesome privilege! If we are willing to be led and trained by our spiritual parent (God the Father) and our “elder brother” (Jesus Christ), we can eventually fulfill God’s stated purpose for us: to be fully created in His image. God’s intent is to rear godly children, in His image, who will reign under Him as kings and priests with Jesus Christ on this earth for a thousand years. “And have made us kings and priests to our God; and we shall reign on the earth” (Revelation 5:10).
For those who are truly converted, the ultimate purpose and desire in rearing children of our own is to lay a foundation in their young impressionable years, so they will desire to fully seek God as their Father. That is our goal, though we cannot force our children to make the right decisions. Even God, our Father, does not force us to make right decisions. He will lead us and direct us, but He will not force us. The goal of godly parenting is to rear children who want to walk in the footsteps of their parents who are living God’s way of life, and who are walking in the footsteps of their spiritual Father. As parents, we want to develop our children’s desire to follow God, not just emphasize our desire for them to follow God.
Our personal example is a crucial necessity! Children must see the real God through their parents’ eyes. Young children’s perception of God is primarily developed by their parents’ example. We cannot hope to rear godly children if we, as parents, are not genuine godly examples. If children see intolerance, hypocrisy, self-centeredness and frequent anger, they will probably not be attracted to their parents’ belief system. Instead, the authority figure in their youth will provoke a negative attitude toward God’s authority later in life.
Parents need to have fully proven, in their present life experience, that God’s way of life is of very high value and works for them! If we have not clearly demonstrated that God’s principles work for us, how will we ever convince others that God’s laws are worthwhile? The same applies to child rearing. If by our attitudes and actions we cannot effectively demonstrate, to our children, that God’s way works for us, how will we ever be able to fully convince them that the principles of God we teach are good for them?
As important as our example is, however, it is only a part of the whole. Even if we could be the “perfect parent,” our perfection would not guarantee a perfect outcome. The Bible clearly speaks of Adam as “the son of God.” (Luke 3:38), yet we know that God refused to force Adam and Eve to make the right decision. God taught Adam and Eve to live His way of life, yet the perfect Parent had children who chose to reject His example and teaching. Later, God’s child (Adam) reared a son (Cain) who became a murderer.
So, do we have any hope of rearing children who will commit their lives to God? We live in a world that is under the influence of the “god of this age” (2 Corinthians 4:4), the “prince of the power of the air, the spirit who now works in the sons of disobedience” (Ephesians 2:2). The entertainment world is saturated with the perverted mindset of Satan’s way of life. This world’s educational system is steeped with the satanic theory of evolution, as well as a continual erosion of any sense of morality or values.
One of the fundamental keys in child rearing is the evidence—actively demonstrated—that God’s way works for us! We demonstrate to our children, by our lives, that God’s principles will bring joy to their lives far beyond what Satan’s system has to offer. “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control” (Galatians 5:22–23). If you asked anyone on the street whether they would like to have a life full of love, joy and peace, universally they would say: “Absolutely!” The problem is that the average person on the street does not recognize the principles of God as the cause that will bring the effect of a very stable and joyous life. This occurs primarily because the world has not been called to true Christianity; rather, it is exposed to a false “so-called” Christianity. We as parents must expose our children to the Christianity of the Bible; not just in the truth (doctrine) we teach, but also in the Christianity we live. If children experience a parent who gives unconditional love, has clear cut rules that are consistently reinforced and genuinely displays the fruits of God’s Spirit, it will not be difficult for them to develop respect and obedience to God as they grow up.
So many people have accepted the satanic lie that God’s way of life is a “real drag.” Their thinking is that God restricts us from every pleasure, resulting in a dull life of suffering and self-denial. If this is our image of God, our children will, in time, notice our approach—and it will become their image of God as well. If, on the other hand, parents are truly thankful for the great God, and grasp the tremendous blessing of understanding God’s way of life (which simply defines what is harmful for us and our loved ones and what will bring an abundant life, emotionally, mentally, physically and spiritually), our children will internalize this as well.
Years ago, some parents would occasionally wonder if God were calling the children of the Church. The thinking was that many children did not appear to be really seeking God in their youth, so perhaps God was not choosing to work with them.
We need to realize that to be “called by God” simply means that one has received an invitation from God. Sometimes invitations are sent to those invited to a wedding. Often, the invitation is sent with an R.S.V.P., which requests your response to the invitation. If you intend to come, you must let the host know your intentions so that a place will be saved for you.
Jesus Christ taught that the Kingdom of Heaven is like an invitation to a wedding: “The kingdom of heaven is like a certain king who arranged a marriage for his son, and sent out his servants to call those who were invited to the wedding; and they were not willing to come” (Matthew 22:2, 3). As with any invitation, some individuals accept, and some do not even bother to respond. The English words “call” and “invite,” found in verse 3, are translated from the same Greek word. To be “called” by God and to be “invited” by God are one and the same.
But the key question is: are all those who are reared by a converted parent invited (called) by God, or is the invitation given to only a select few of our young people? Peter answered this question on the very day of Pentecost when he stated: “For the promise is to you and to your children, and to all who are afar off, as many as the Lord our God will call” (Acts 2:39).
The promise of receiving the gift of the Holy Spirit is offered as a conditional promise to three categories of people who are called:
- The “you” to whom Peter was speaking on Pentecost
- Those who are “your children”—the children of converted parents
- All who “are afar off, as many as the Lord our God will call”—all those whom God will call or invite down through the centuries
For all three categories of people, the promise of receiving God’s Spirit is conditional upon their seeking and experiencing genuine repentance and surrender in baptism (v. 38). Clearly, though all children of converted parents are called, and have potential access to God, not all will seek God in this age.
Some years after Peter gave his Pentecost sermon, Paul reminded the Corinthians that the children of even one converted parent are not “unclean” or spiritually separated or cut off from God (1 Corinthians 7:14). In fact, they are “holy”—which means, in God’s sight, that they are unique to Him and have direct access to Him. In other words, they have an open invitation or calling from God. So the real question becomes: will our children respond to the invitation? Will they eagerly “R.S.V.P” by aggressively seeking their true parent, or will they put it off to some future time?
Remember, Jesus Christ stated in the same parable of the wedding: “many are called, but few are chosen,” (Matthew 22:14). To be “chosen of God,” many other scriptures make clear, is to actually be chosen to receive God’s Spirit in this life to become first-begotten potential members of God’s Family at Christ’s return. In actual fact, in Christ’s parable, those who were invited (called) but chose not to respond, simply “went their way” (v. 5).
Apparently nothing further happened to them at that time. But those who were invited (called) and chosen to be at the wedding but did not prepare with a wedding garment, were cast into “outer darkness” (vv. 11–14).
Some do respond in this life, when called of God, and are chosen to receive His Spirit (initial conversion), but still do not take it seriously and never put on a wedding garment (righteous character). The implication is that these will be the ones who are finally rejected and “cast into outer darkness.” On the other hand, those who are part of the “many [who] are called” in this life, but are not chosen, apparently “go their way,” not being a part of the wedding supper at Christ’s return. They lose the opportunity of being the firstborn in the Family of God, and the tremendous privilege of being part of the “better resurrection” (Hebrews 11:35). They also lose the immense blessing of experiencing God’s way of life in this life, losing the opportunity for stronger marriages, peace, joy and the “spirit [not] of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind” (2 Timothy 1:7). This is a huge loss, but there is no indication that these individuals are “cast into outer darkness.” They “go their way” in this life, and will have their minds fully opened in the millennium or in the White Throne Judgment.
Obviously, as parents, we want to see our children as a part of the “better resurrection” (Hebrews 11:35) at Christ’s return. If not (if they do not have enough understanding to “R.S.V.P.” and they choose to go the way of the world) it would be much less traumatic to have them go their way for now and to be fully taught as physical human beings in God’s Kingdom, rather than be called and chosen in this life but not take their calling seriously enough to acquire a “wedding garment” of godly, righteous character. Thankfully, our merciful God knows what He is doing, and chooses only a few of those whom He has called in this life: “those whom diligently [or aggressively] seek Him” (Hebrews 11:6). In other words, of those to whom He has extended an invitation, He chooses only those whom are most likely to succeed with His help in this difficult age. What a blessing it is, that our God is that caring!
Our goal then, in rearing children in the Church, is to do the best job that we can possibly do in turning their hearts to their true Father, the Supreme God. We want to mold them as best we can, while we have the opportunity in their early years to lay a foundation for their future. Not every child will choose to go God’s way fully in this life, but our teaching and training will not be wasted! Knowledge of God’s laws, at least to the extent that they are followed, will still benefit our children in this life. This is true with all the unconverted in the world. God’s laws operate on cause and effect, and to the extent that even the unconverted apply the spiritual laws of God, they will have a better life.
Those children who have been taught God’s way of life in their childhood, even if they venture out into the world, will have a foundation they can at least turn to when they choose, either in this life or in God’s Kingdom. Of course, we parents hope and pray that our children will turn to God now. But if they do not, we can at least know that every moment that we spend teaching them (Deuteronomy 6:4–7), every positive example and every loving concern for our children will not be lost. They will have a positive foundation to turn to before the close of this age, during the millennium or during the White Throne Judgment.
And for those children who “see the light” in their youth and turn fully to their God, what an amazing future they have! God offers to be their parent and their partner for life, guiding them through every decision and milestone in their life, just like a loving father. The result will be better marriages, stronger families, peaceful and stable minds—and birth into the very Family of God at Christ’s return. They will have the opportunity to work with Jesus Christ Himself as he establishes His Kingdom and brings peace to the earth. Cities will be rebuilt God’s way, without pollution or crime or the blight of overcrowded inner cities. Our children can have the opportunity of being in on this worldwide transformation of this new age.
We, as parents who are begotten “children of God,” have a responsibility to help in fulfilling the Church’s twin messages at the end of this age. Our prayers and financial support can help the Work of God in announcing the coming Kingdom of God “in all the world as a witness” (Matthew 24:14). We also find that before the Day of the Lord and the end of age there will be an effort to “turn the hearts of the fathers to the children, and the hearts of the children to their fathers, lest I come and strike the earth with a curse” (Malachi 4:6). The ultimate Father, to whom the hearts of the children must be turned, is God the Father. As we have seen, God’s purpose on this planet is to “make man in Our image, according to Our likeness” (Genesis 1:26). God is creating future members of His Family, as they are voluntarily created in the spiritual and character image of God as His literal children.
So we parents have a very high calling. Our God is training us as His children in His image! In turn, God is calling us to train and shape our children’s young impressionable minds in His image. This is a lofty goal in a dark and dangerous world. But as a loving parent, God promises that: “‘I will never leave you nor forsake you.’ So we may boldly say: ‘The Lord is my helper’” (Hebrews 13:5–6). The closer we move to our Father, the more we will radiate His qualities as the perfect parent. Every last parent has made mistakes in parenting, but God knows that parents, like their children, are capable of learning and changing.
As parents and grandparents—as for all of us as begotten children of the great God—let us rededicate our lives to turning the hearts of the children to their spiritual Father. This is the ultimate goal and purpose of child rearing: to have children “in God’s image.”