To be a helper of others brings immense satisfaction. And it seems that God has endowed women with a unique insight into the intricacies of helping others—and, if they are married, especially into helping their husbands.
After God created Adam (Genesis 2:7), He knew that Adam—the only human being on earth—needed someone with whom to share his life. What did He then do? “And the Lord God said, ‘It is not good that man should be alone; I will make him a helper comparable to him’” (Genesis 2:18). God then worked a miracle: “And the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall on Adam, and he slept; and He took one of his ribs, and closed up the flesh in its place. Then the rib which the Lord God had taken from man He made into a woman, and He brought her to the man” (vv. 21–22).
Here we see that God created woman with the innate qualities of being a helper. She can apply these qualities in all facets of her life—at home, in the workplace, in serving God’s Church—and God certainly expects us as Christian women to use these qualities to glorify Him in all we do.
Down through the ages, many women have chosen to be effective helpers, and have excelled at doing so. Some examples from the Old Testament would certainly have to include Queen Esther, who was very instrumental in delivering the Jews from annihilation in her day. The entire book of Esther tells her inspiring story.
Of course, we would also need to mention Ruth, the Moabite, who was a tremendous help to her mother-in-law, Naomi. Ruth was willing to help by going out into the fields, gleaning behind the reapers, to provide food for Naomi and herself (Ruth 2:1–3). When Boaz learned of Ruth’s efforts, he showed great kindness to her by seeing to it that she gleaned plenty of grain, was kept safe, and that her needs were met. “So she fell on her face, bowed down to the ground, and said to him, ‘Why have I found favor in your eyes, that you should take notice of me, since I am a foreigner?’ And Boaz answered and said to her, ‘It has been fully reported to me, all that you have done for your mother-in-law since the death of your husband, and how you have left your father and your mother and the land of your birth, and have come to a people whom you did not know before. The Lord repay your work, and a full reward be given you by the Lord God of Israel, under whose wings you have come for refuge’” (Ruth 2:10–12).
Consider, too, the help provided by Rahab of Jericho. She hid the spies Joshua had sent to see if the land was ready to be conquered, then she helped them to escape, securing safety for herself and her family (Joshua 2:1–24). Notice how Rahab entreated the spies after she had taken them into hiding. She went up on the roof and made her request: “[And] said to the men: ‘I know that the Lord has given you the land, that the terror of you has fallen on us, and that all the inhabitants of the land are fainthearted because of you. For we have heard how the Lord dried up the water of the Red Sea for you when you came out of Egypt, and what you did to the two kings of the Amorites who were on the other side of the Jordan, Sihon and Og, whom you utterly destroyed. And as soon as we heard these things, our hearts melted; neither did there remain any more courage in anyone because of you, for the Lord your God, He is God in heaven above and on earth beneath’” (vv. 9–11). Then she pleaded with them to spare her family, to which they agreed since she had shown kindness to them by sparing their lives.
Jesus’ mother, Mary, played a vital role in His life, teaching Him to obey His Father in heaven. God the Father would not have chosen Mary to bear and rear our Savior if He had not considered her very capable. God must have given her a great amount of discernment, insight and wisdom. Other faithful, loyal women also helped Christ as He went about preaching the gospel. We read the account of Mary and Martha, the sisters of Lazarus, with whom Christ became very close friends. “Now it happened as they went that He entered a certain village; and a certain woman named Martha welcomed Him into her house. And she had a sister called Mary, who also sat at Jesus’ feet and heard His word. But Martha was distracted with much serving, and she approached Him and said, ‘Lord, do You not care that my sister has left me to serve alone? Therefore tell her to help me’” (Luke 10:38–40).
Evidently, Mary had a deeper, more profound understanding and appreciation for Christ and His mission. Martha, on the other hand—even though she was doing well by serving—did not take the time to hear Christ’s teachings as she could have. Yet Christ did not answer her with righteous indignation, though He could have, since she was, in effect, questioning His integrity as a concerned and caring Lord and Savior, and also demanding that He tell Mary to help her in serving. Instead, He corrected Martha gently. “And Jesus answered and said to her, ‘Martha, Martha, you are worried and troubled about many things. But one thing is needed, and Mary has chosen that good part, which will not be taken away from her’” (Luke 10:41–42). After receiving this correction, Martha and her sister Mary continued to help Christ (John 12:1–8).
Scripture shows us that the Apostle Paul sometimes brought qualified women along to help him on his journeys. Women in the Church areas he visited also provided much help. Paul told the young evangelist Timothy to choose only the widows who had the right qualifications—including qualifications of service. “Do not let a widow under sixty years old be taken into the number, and not unless she has been the wife of one man, well reported for good works: if she has brought up children, if she has lodged strangers, if she has washed the saints’ feet, if she has relieved the afflicted, if she has diligently followed every good work” (1 Timothy 5:9–10). Also: “I implore Euodia and I implore Syntyche to be of the same mind in the Lord. And I urge you also, true companion, help these women who labored with me in the gospel, with Clement also, and the rest of my fellow workers, whose names are in the Book of Life” (Philippians 4:2–3).
Another example: “I commend to you Phoebe our sister, who is a servant of the church in Cenchrea, that you may receive her in the Lord in a manner worthy of the saints, and assist her in whatever business she has need of you; for indeed she has been a helper of many and of myself also” (Romans 16:1–2). And: “Greet Mary, who labored much for us” (v. 6).
Women who want to serve in the Church have many opportunities to do so. They may serve as door greeters, prepare floral arrangements, sing in the choir, prepare food for the Sabbath and Holy Days, or assist in many other tasks, including set-up for meals, kitchen service, coffee brewing and clean-up. An important point to remember is that no assignment is “set in stone” even if a lady may have had the same duties for months or even years. It can be good for assignments to change, from time to time, to give ladies the opportunity to use their talents in various ways to help others. Consider that a lady who graciously accepts a change in her duties is, in a sense, helping the growth of the lady who takes on her previous duties. Sometimes it can be invigorating to move on to new and different challenges and opportunities, or to be free to just “pitch in” and help with whatever service may need extra help from time to time. This also helps avoid “burnout” and stagnation in service. Graciously serving together in harmony sets a positive tone that builds and edifies the congregation. As we ladies work together, we come to have a greater love and appreciation for each other as sisters in Christ.
Qualities of an Effective Helper
- She helps by being a godly example. A steadfast godly example speaks volumes to family, co-workers, neighbors and friends. Her example inspires others to do better. It is a Christian woman’s duty to be a godly example, as we do represent Christ in this evil world of Satan’s.
- She supports God’s Work by being faithful in prayers, tithes and offerings. By doing so, she is helping to spread the gospel, feed the flock and send a warning message and witness to the nations through the various doors God opens for His Church.
- She anticipates the needs of her family, her brethren and others—and she does her part in fulfilling them as circumstances allow.
- She strives to be ready on time—to leave the house—for appointments, errands, Sabbath services and other activities. A lady who is habitually late can be a “drag” on her family and others. While tardiness can be a very difficult habit to break, it can be done. It is a matter of making up her mind to do it, and then doing it. If her habit is deeply ingrained, it is especially imperative to seek God’s help.
- She maintains a positive attitude and encourages others to do so. She has an upbeat personality, not letting problems get the best of her. “If you faint in the day of adversity, your strength is small” (Proverbs 24:10).
- She does not let life control her; she controls it. One of the first lessons I learned after coming into God’s Church was that self-control is a key to real spiritual power. I have never forgotten this, and it is still true today. Ladies who master self-control can more clearly discern how best to help others. “Whoever has no rule over his own spirit is like a city broken down, without walls” (Proverbs 25:28). A broken-down city with no walls has no strength and is very vulnerable. “He who is slow to anger is better than the mighty, and he who rules his spirit than he who takes a city” (Proverbs 16:32).
As Christian women, we have many opportunities to help those around us. As we prepare to become the Bride of Christ—to help Him rule over the earth in His soon-coming Kingdom—let us go forward steadfastly, inculcating into our character each day these vital keys for becoming a more effective helper.