A lady I know received a card of appreciation from a family thanking her for helping them and for some items she had given to them that they were able to share with others. The person who sent the card ended the message by saying, “You have been a true blessing to many.” This lady had never thought of herself as being a blessing to others, but the card was so encouraging and uplifting that she became determined to continue on in this endeavor. So she began to look for other opportunities to be a true blessing to others.
While pondering this, I could think of no finer example for Christian women to emulate than that of the ideal virtuous woman of Proverbs 31:10–31, who apparently was a blessing to all who knew her. When we read these verses, we find that the type of virtuous woman depicted in them had many fine attributes of godly character—and one may think that these are such high standards that they are impossible to reach. However, when viewing them as goals and guidelines for which to strive, as we bring these principles over into the twenty-first century, we can then more clearly understand how to fit them into our daily lives.
In seeking to emulate these virtuous attributes, we would need to recognize, in summary of Proverbs 31:10–31, that this virtuous woman was: trustworthy (reliable), industrious (busy and diligent), well organized, responsible, compassionate, kind, wise, family-oriented, God-fearing and that she abounded in good works. “Give her of the fruit of her hands, and let her own works praise her in the gates (Proverbs 31:31).
Let us also take a look at a few other ways that we as Christian women can be a true blessing to others.
Cultivate a Calm Spirit
Uncontrolled emotions can sometimes wreak havoc and cause much pain and suffering—especially in the realm of anger. “Do not hasten in your spirit to be angry, for anger rests in the bosom of fools” (Ecclesiastes 7:9). Also, “Whoever has no rule over his own spirit is like a city broken down, without walls” (Proverbs 25:28).
I once had a neighbor who was a very nice lady except for one thing—she had a “hair-trigger” temper. My family and I would hear her lashing out at her husband and children (she had seven) in the summertime when the windows were raised at night to let in the cool summer breezes. This lady would absolutely “lose it” and rant and rave for five minutes or more—oblivious to the fact that she was disturbing the neighbors and was being a very bad example to her children.
On the other hand, her husband was a very quiet, mild man. I do not recall him ever raising his voice to her at all. I suppose that one reason could have been that he did not think it would be a very wise thing to do, since she was bigger than he was. The fact of the matter is that this family had no lasting peace in their home—due to her fiery temper. “Better to dwell in the wilderness, than with a contentious and angry woman” (Proverbs 21:19).
As we all know, rearing children can be a trying experience at times. However, yelling and screaming at them is not the answer. Sometimes it may take maximum effort in order to maintain a calm spirit—especially if a child is trying the mother’s patience (they know how to do this). Keeping a calm spirit results in clear thinking—so that the best decisions can be made as to how to handle situations which need attention. In dealing with some situations, sometimes it is wise to take on the role of a peacemaker. “The beginning of strife is like releasing water; therefore stop contention before a quarrel starts” (Proverbs 17:14). In Matthew 5:9 we read, “Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called sons of God.”
Certain incidents can occur sometimes when least expected—which can threaten peace and can lead to confrontations if not handled properly. For example, in a rare incidence, the aforementioned lady with the fiery temper came to my back door one afternoon with her three-year-old daughter in tow. I could tell that she was “on the verge” of losing her temper. She said to me, “Look what your son [also three years old] did to my daughter—he threw red sand in her hair and I had just washed it!” I said, “Oh, no!” Then I replied, “However, your daughter does the same thing to my son, and I just have not said anything about it.” This caught her by surprise, and then realizing that this was “a two-way street,” she began to calm down. I said to her, “We both will just have to teach them not to do this (throw sand in each other’s hair) to each other, and be firm about it.” She agreed, calmed down, became more amiable, and then she went back home with peace between us. In her defense, without going into detail, I will have to say that overall she was one of the best neighbors I have ever had and I still remember her with fondness.
Encourage Others
In Job 14:1 we read, “Man [mankind] who is born of woman is of few days and full of trouble.” There are times in life when one can become discouraged due to certain events or incidents that may occur. Life is not always a “bed of roses,” as the saying goes. Without encouragement from others, it would be very difficult to carry on at times. Encouragement is a very important aspect of life, especially when it comes along at just the right time.
In times past, my husband and I would never allow ourselves to be “down in the dumps” at the same time. We would always encourage each other out of that type of thinking. I can recall a very unpleasant incident that happened, which caused him to have to struggle with discouragement. I encouraged him as much as I could, and I also prayed for God to encourage him. Shortly thereafter, he received two very positive phone calls, which were immensely encouraging to him and lifted his spirits again. “A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in settings of silver” (Proverbs 25:11). “Pleasant words are like a honeycomb, sweetness to the soul and health to the bones” (Proverbs 16:24). “The light of the eyes rejoices the heart, and a good report makes the bones healthy” (Proverbs 15:30). It was such a pleasure to see his eyes light up again.
To know that you have been a blessing to others by encouraging them is very rewarding, especially when the encouragement is given to help them through a trial or test. Some of the most encouraging words in Scripture are: “And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose” (Romans 8:28). Also, “The name of the Lord is a strong tower; the righteous run to it and are safe” (Proverbs 18:10).
Christ assures us in Hebrew 13:5 that He will never leave us nor forsake us. Very encouraging!
In Romans 8:31 the Apostle Paul, after an explanation (from start to finish) of God’s calling (v. 30), spoke these words of encouragement and assurance: “What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us?”
To seek out the nuggets and gems of encouragement which can be found in God’s word and then to meditate on them, can increase godly confidence, trust and faith. All we have to do is to dig (search) for them through diligent Bible study until we find them. Then, as we are encouraged, we will be more thoroughly equipped to be a true blessing to others by encouraging them.
Let God’s Ministry Be a Blessing to You
One of the first lessons my family and I learned when we came into the Church was—that in order to learn how to rule, one must first learn how to be ruled. We had to learn that there was godly authority in God’s Church and that one should respect it. “Remember those who rule over you, who have spoken the word of God to you, whose faith follow, considering the outcome of their conduct” (Hebrews 13:7). Also, “Obey those who rule over you, and be submissive, for they watch out for your souls, as those who must give account. Let them do so with joy and not with grief, for that would be unprofitable for you” (Hebrews 13:17). This scripture shows that true ministers of God will always have the best interests of each Church member at heart—and will advise accordingly.
Several years ago, a lady who lived with her elderly parents came to my husband for ministerial counseling. She said that she and her parents had a close relative who had become somewhat cold and distant toward them in her demeanor. She said that they did not know what to do—since the lady might be offended in some way. My husband told her to reach out and give the lady a warm phone call and perhaps the situation would turn around, and if an apology was due, to apologize.
This was not exactly what the lady wanted to hear because she was concerned that her phone call would not be received warmly. However, she prayed about the matter and called the relative, who did receive her call warmly and after talking things over, the family invited the relative for dinner the next Friday evening. Afterward, the lady who called the relative related to my husband how pleasant everything turned out and that she was so glad that she followed his advice because fences were mended and bridges repaired in this family relationship.
In our personal lives, our example of highly esteeming and respecting ministerial leadership can be a true blessing to others. “And we urge you, brethren, to recognize those who labor among you, and are over you in the Lord and admonish you, and to esteem them very highly in love for their work’s sake. Be at peace among yourselves” (1 Thessalonians 5:12–13).
There are many ways and opportunities to be a true blessing to others and the ones mentioned here are just a few. However, if we put forth the effort to put these into practice—not only will we be a true blessing to others, but we will be blessed as well.