A few years ago, when I heard a sermon by Dr. Scott Winnail entitled “Raising Daughters, Raising Godly Women,” I was shocked by my reaction to a statement he made. I consider myself a Christian woman who wants to please God, yet I bristled when he said, “Avoid the mistake of telling your daughters and granddaughters that they can be anything they want to be.” In my heart I knew he was right, so why did I have negative feelings about women having any limitations on their career goals? Had I unwittingly bought into some of modern society’s ideas about women? Had I been deceived?
Woman at Work
I was raised by my mother, a single parent of six children; she passed on to me a desire to succeed. As the oldest child and the first in my family of aunts, uncles, and cousins to go to college, I felt the need to do well. I studied hard and completed my college degree with honors. With degree in hand, I felt like the sky was the limit. I wanted all the things society had promised me in return for my hard work—career, money, and position. I also had a family. I thought I could have it all. But my marriage did not last, and then I was a single parent. I rose to middle management in a Fortune 500 company, which I thought was not too shabby for a poor girl from the projects. From time to time I had thought about what careers were appropriate for women, but I thought that Christian women were to reject only the careers that required great physical strength. After all, had not God made men and women equal in intellect?
Dr. Winnail’s statement caused me to reevaluate my attitude about society’s values with respect to women and their goals and expectations. I had been a member of God’s Church for more than 40 years when I heard this sermon, yet I had to conclude that I had nevertheless been deceived. I had not recognized the impact this society had made on my ideas about godly roles for women. It is important that we as Christian women examine some of our attitudes toward societal norms and beware of falling into this trap. Be forewarned that this article may offend you, just as I was initially offended when I heard this aspect of God’s truth.
One value that has become normal in Western society is that of women working outside the home. This transition has happened within my lifetime. “Among married couple families, two-thirds of mothers are employed (67.3 percent)” (“Breadwinning Mothers Continue to Be the US Norm,” AmericanProgress.org, May 10, 2019). Not only are women working in greater numbers; they are also working longer hours and taking positions previously reserved for men. Most women, like society in general, consider this to be progress.
But how about us? Do we, as Christian women, think it is good when we see women in these “progressive” roles? What is our reaction when we see groundbreaking feats accomplished by the female scientists at the forefront of COVID-19 research? Do we feel that women are making a lot of progress? Are we “adjusting” our thinking to conform to the way the world sees these things?
One effect of women working outside the home is that more women have a source of income independent of their husband’s. While more money coming into the home can have its benefits, it can also be a source of tension. Wives may begin to “assert their independence” and want to be the one to determine how funds are allocated. This brings into question who is in charge. Some say the patriarchal system is inherently abusive and unfair to women and should be thrown out. They use as examples women who have been abused, beaten, or even murdered by their husbands. Clearly, no woman—or man—should remain in a situation that is dangerous or harmful. However, these examples, which do not represent the experience of most women, are deceptively used to incite women’s emotions against male leadership. As a Christian woman, you may feel that you are not trying to be independent of your husband, but do you feel you need to lay aside a secret stash of cash “just in case”? Do you truly desire to have a man rule over you? Western society promotes women’s preeminence, self-sufficiency, and independence—but what does God say?
What Does the Bible Really Teach?
Most likely, the women reading this article are aware of God’s purpose for women and agree with it, at least in theory. God made women to assist their husbands as helpers (Genesis 2:18). God has placed men in charge of their families and women are to submit to their husbands’ leadership (Ephesians 5:22–28; 1 Timothy 3:4–5). If God designed the family such that the husband is in charge, should not we as women embrace this concept? Christian women offer counsel as part of the decision-making process, but they should not try to manipulate, denigrate, or otherwise undermine a husband’s decisions in order to get their own way, even if they feel that they know best. We submit ourselves to our husbands. We must choose to follow the government God placed in the home so that we can reap the blessings His way brings.
Contrary to what Western society advocates, God has not designed women to be self-sufficient and financially independent. God wants men to provide for their households and support their wives (1 Timothy 5:8). His ideal is for women to be homemakers and manage their households (Titus 2:4–5).
Let us be clear; it is not necessarily wrong for women to work outside the home. We have the example of Lydia, who was an exporter of purple fabrics (Acts 16:14). We have scriptures describing a virtuous woman who has entrepreneurial skills that she uses to benefit her household (Proverbs 31:10–31). We also notice from these scriptures that a woman’s home and family are featured as the most important elements in her endeavors; the bigger issue is women working outside the home in jobs that detract from the well-being of the family when it is not essential that they do so.
We live in Satan’s society, and many women—especially single parents—find it necessary to earn wages. As a single parent, I used my skills and knowledge to provide for my children, and I know there are others who find themselves in the same situation. God will help you just as He helped me. Remember, He is a Father to the fatherless (Psalm 68:5) and He has compassion on women who have no one to take care of them (Luke 7:12–15). Single women with underage children carry a big burden, being both mother and breadwinner. It is a tiring situation in which many things either go undone or are lacking; I know this from experience. Others of us can show empathy and lighten their burden in small ways, such as baking a casserole to share, transporting their child with yours to and from an activity, or just offering a sympathetic ear, to name a few. For those who find themselves in this situation, God is with you; He will be your Head if you ask Him and seek Him.
I was mother and breadwinner, but God in His mercy did not leave me in that state. He gave me a second husband, a godly man who finished his course a few years ago. My husband’s kindness and patience allowed me to practice the principles God was teaching me through His word and His Church and to live the type of life He designed for women. I thought I had it together, but I learned that some of the world’s lies about women were still deeply rooted in my mind. Could you also be a victim?
A Place of Honor
Mainstream society promotes many ungodly ideas that target women. They seek to deprive us of the roles God designed specifically for women and deny us the happiness those roles can bring. Sadly, some of these ideas may be deeply rooted in the subconscious; I know they are in mine. We cannot look at women in society, compare ourselves to them, and then feel like we are okay. We have to strive to live up to God’s standards. God wants women to respect and honor their husbands, love their children, be homemakers, and have a humble disposition (1 Peter 3:4).
God will change all hearts in His Kingdom, and women will value their roles and responsibilities. As Christian women, we must examine what we really think about these issues now and bring our ideas into agreement with God. Remember, we will teach women their proper roles—and in order to teach them, we must believe and live them. Forewarned is forearmed. Ladies beware.