When my husband and I were transferred to Charlotte, North Carolina from Nashville, Tennessee it took us a few days to find suitable housing. We eventually chose a house in an area that was newly under construction. Since moving in, I have had the opportunity to observe the construction workers as they have built a number of new homes in the area.
It is very interesting to see how the different crews do their jobs—each in their own order until the beautiful finished product is complete. This reminds me of how we as Christians are instructed to work together as one body to build and to edify (Ephesians 4:15–16). The Apostle Peter mentions that, “you also, as living stones, are being built up a spiritual house (1 Peter 2:5).
Thinking on these scriptures in turn brings me to my subject—Proverbs 14:1: “The wise woman builds her house, but the foolish pulls it down with her hands.” Let us examine closely two opposite types of woman. One is wise and builds her house. The other is foolish and tears it down.
The Wise House-Builder
A wise woman can build her house in various ways. To consider a few:
She seeks God’s will in her life.
She prays that God will guide her every decision in service to God, in submitting to her husband, in child-rearing, using her talents, wise shopping and every other facet and area of her life.
She seeks the spiritual riches of God through diligent prayer and study.
“Through wisdom a house is built, and by understanding it is established; by knowledge the rooms are filled with all precious and pleasant riches” (Proverbs 24:3–4). We read in Proverbs 8:10–11 that God’s instruction, knowledge, understanding and wisdom are of more value than silver, gold and rubies. She internalizes these precious spiritual riches and uses them to build her relationship with God, her family and others.
She keeps her spiritual house clean and orderly, also her physical house.
Using God’s Spirit she guards her mind, resisting evil thoughts, gossip, slander and idle chatter. She does not allow her mind to be cluttered with worldly things. “Do not love the world or the things in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him. For all that is in the world—the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life—is not of the Father but is of the world” (1 John 2:15–16). We also read: “If then you were raised with Christ, seek those things which are above, where Christ is, sitting at the right hand of God. Set your mind on things above, not on things on the earth” (Colossians 3:1–2). She does not allow herself to dwell on the cares of life until they crowd out her spiritual growth.
She seeks ways to enhance her life as well as the lives of others.
There are many helpful things a woman can do to broaden her horizons, thus enhancing her life, such as: she can get the family involved in uplifting and educational activities such as the arts and many other cultural opportunities.
If children are introduced to these affairs at an early age, they are more likely to develop an appreciation for them. The availability of things of interest seems endless: free concerts in the park, a suitable theatrical production, musicals, various museums, the symphony, a family vacation to Washington, DC to tour the Smithsonian (it is worth the trip). The list could go on.
Of course we must apply the spiritual intent to all that we do and be balanced. The important thing is to enhance your life and others’ as well, as health, time and finances allow.
The Foolish House-Wrecker
Now let us consider a few ways a foolish woman can pull her house down.
Through self-will
Instead of seeking God’s will, she refuses to fit into the role in which God has placed her in the home and Church.
Before I was called into God’s Church, the popular philosophy and teaching of society was that the husband and wife ruled the home equally, fifty percent each. It was referred to as 50/50. My husband and I would tease each other about who was the boss. I had bought into this concept and I thought that the biblical teaching of the husband as head of the house was a bit archaic and out of date for modern times. However, upon careful study of the scriptures, I was convinced that God’s word is truth. “Sanctify them by Your truth. Your word is truth” (John 17:17). Also, “But He answered and said, ‘It is written, “Man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word that proceeds from the mouth of God’” (Matthew 4:4). So I concluded that God’s word is always relevant and must be obeyed. Ephesians 5:22–23 states, “Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body.” Also, the Apostle Paul instructs in 1 Corinthians 11:3, “But I want you to know that the head of every man is Christ, the head of woman is man, and the head of Christ is God.”
For some women today, having come out of a society filled with liberal feminist teachings, this truth may be somewhat of a “bitter pill to swallow” and very hard for the mind to digest and accept. Surrendering one’s will to God can be a very tough thing to do, but once done, it brings tremendous peace and joy.
There are many pressures on women today, as we live in a sex-crazed, youth-oriented society. For instance, women are pressured to have unrealistic supermodel figures and to never look their age as they grow older (think botox, plastic surgery, etc.). A woman cannot even have a decent wrinkle in peace. She is pressured to do everything within her power to look young, sexy and vivacious forever. How ridiculous!
However, we as Christian women do not have to fall for these satanic deceptions, as we are instructed to keep ourselves unspotted from the world (James 1:27).
Through neglect
A woman can neglect to stay close to God by failing to use the spiritual tools of regular prayer, study, meditation and fasting to build and grow in godly character. It is of the utmost importance to build a regular habit of doing these things. Once children learn that Mom and Dad need private time for God, then they will accept and respect it. They can be taught and trained in these areas.
Without proper spiritual maint-enance, a woman’s house will eventually deteriorate and fall into disrepair.
Through lack of discretion
“As a ring of gold in a swine’s snout, so is a lovely woman who lacks discretion” (Proverbs 11:22). Being indiscreet is a very serious flaw—one that can even ruin a woman’s reputation. It can also bring shame to her husband. “An excellent wife is the crown of her husband, but she who causes shame is like rottenness in his bones” (Proverbs 12:4).
Through contentiousness
Life can be very stressful at times and one can find many things to be displeased about. Giving in to displeasure can lead to being contentious. Being contentious can lead to anger. “Better to dwell in the wilderness, than with a contentious and angry woman” (Proverbs 21:19). No one likes to be around a contentious person, because it is not a peaceful situation. “The beginning of strife is like releasing water; therefore stop contention before a quarrel starts” (Proverbs 17:14).
The Apostle Paul instructs us, “If it is possible, as much as depends on you, live peaceably with all men” (Romans 12:18). In Matthew 5:9 we are told that we will be blessed if we are peacemakers. In further instruction, “Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus (Philippians 4:6–7).
In conclusion, as we continue to build our house, let us heed the words of Christ, “Therefore whoever hears these sayings of Mine, and does them, I will liken him to a wise man who built his house on the rock: and the rain descended, the floods came, and the winds blew and beat on that house; and it did not fall, for it was founded on the rock” (Matthew 7:24–25). So as wise women, let us be doers of the word and not hearers only (James 1:22). We can always remember this scripture, “Unless the Lord builds the house, they labor in vain who build it; unless the Lord guards the city, the watchman stays awake in vain” (Psalm 127:1).