Have you noticed that despite the incredibly high divorce rate in our Western society, and despite all the turmoil and challenge of the dating process, marriage remains very popular today? Many books, television shows and movies focus on finding a “soul mate”—an intimate committed companion in life.
Many will try almost anything to find someone with whom they can truly share their life. Why does the goal of finding a long-term compatible life companion remain an ideal worth striving for, in this era of cohabitation, open marriages and other non-traditional arrangements? How can one escape the hopelessness of the dating game, and the emptiness of the singles scene?
The answer, quite simply, is that male and female roles in marriage were not developed by man, but were created by God Himself. Jesus tells us: “But from the beginning of the creation, God ‘made them male and female. For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’; so then they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate” (Mark 10:6–9).
God intended that man and woman form a bond for life, through the institution of marriage and family. But in today’s chaotic society, how does one find a life-long companion the way God intended? Studies have shown that marriages based on shared values stand a much greater likelihood of success than those based on any other factor. Shared values provide a context for marital partners’ roles, and a context for resolving the inevitable conflicts that arise.
Since God is the Creator of marriage, it stands to reason that the shared values we need for success in marriage must be His values. God’s Word reveals the priorities we must follow to gain His favor, and to understand His will in our lives. God said: “I am the Lord your God, who brought you out of the land of Egypt, out of the house of bondage. You shall have no other gods before Me” (Exodus 20:2–3). To build a proper foundation for marriage, we have to put Him first. In putting Him first, we also put His instructions first; His laws and His Word must come way ahead of everything else. The Bible is God’s instruction book for His creation. With it, we can understand the principles God has provided for living a successful life. With this strong foundation, we can then find a life-long “soul mate” who shares those same values.
Where does one find such a person? Obviously not in a singles bar or some Internet chat room. “Do not be unequally yoked together with unbelievers. For what fellowship has righteousness with lawlessness? And what communion has light with darkness? And what accord has Christ with Belial? Or what part has a believer with an unbeliever?” (2 Corinthians 6:14–15). One finds such a person within a group of people who share the same values.
Imagine that you were putting together a group of people for a golf league. Would it make any sense to include someone who had no interest in golf? Of course not! You would seek people who shared your interest in golf. This is even more important in the context of marriage.
Finding a true, life-long “soul mate” is not an impossible dream, but it requires putting God first in our lives, following His will and committing our lives into His hands. If we do so, we can find our “soul mate” among those who put the same priority on following the whole Truth of God as revealed in His Word.
The above is an adaptation of one of the many commentaries, on key topics facing our world, available at the www.lcg.org and www.tomorrowsworld.org Web sites.