It is a common belief among many that the Church is made up of seniors. This is not entirely accurate, however. It is true that many smaller congregations—and even some larger ones—have few if any children, but there is a quiet upsurge in young adults attending the Living Church of God. It is quite evident here in Charlotte, but not confined to Charlotte alone.
It is obvious to any visitor that the Charlotte congregation is a youthful congregation, but I did not know exactly how youthful. So, I asked Mr. Joshua Penman to do a quick database search of how many children—from newborn through the age of 17—we have in Charlotte. The actual figure took us by surprise—more than 100. This was back in April, and it did not cover several “buns in the oven,” as the expression goes. Since then, babies have been born, several young wives have become pregnant, and some young singles have begun planning their weddings.
There are also a good number of couples who have three, four, or more children—and that is not here in Charlotte only. Not long ago, our Alberta, Canada, congregations had a handful of young single adults and only a few small children. But over the last dozen years, a major transformation has taken place in Edmonton, Calgary, and Grande Prairie—the shouts and laughter of little children are often heard in these congregations nowadays. Some congregations in Texas and Missouri also go contrary to the “old Church” narrative. And our summer camp numbers are up significantly again this year. We are seeing a slow shift back to more historic family norms in the Church.
Why Families Are Important
I grew up hearing words to the effect of, “As the family goes, so goes the nation.” Many have attributed a similar sentiment to historian Will Durant, who reportedly described the family as the nucleus of civilization. Others have called the family the foundation of society.
Australian Member of Parliament Kevin Andrews gave a notable lecture, described in the Warrane College article “The Building Blocks of Western Civilization.” Outlining his views on the importance of marriage for the future of Western civilization, Mr. Andrews stated that “the greatest threat facing the western world was not global warming, the financial crisis or the threat of radical Islam, but ‘the steady, but continuing breakdown of the essential structures of civil society—marriage, family and community.’” Mr. Andrews listed eleven causes for the crisis taking place in marriage and family. Among them:
- A decline in the numbers of people who are getting married
- An increase in cohabitation as a substitute for marriage, though cohabitation is less stable than marriage
- Families having fewer children overall
- Both parents being in the paid workforce
Though some applaud these trends, Mr. Andrews pointed out what has since become obvious to many: “As thousands of studies now indicate, these trends have had many negative economic, health and social consequences for adults and children and have had a significant impact on society more generally” (October 7, 2015).
God’s Festivals and Families
The Holy Days and Festivals portray God’s plan to transform the world. The need for the fulfillment of the Feast of Trumpets is made clear by the fact that all of mankind’s attempts have utterly failed to reform society. Satan’s world is built on false and deceptive principles, and the Prince of Peace must return to destroy it and to usher in a new way based on better values.
The Day of Atonement reveals why our world is going the way it is. Satan is the spirit power—the god of this present world—who is directing its course. True lasting peace and harmony cannot come until his influence is removed and that course changed.
We celebrate the Feast of Tabernacles as portraying that future time of harmony, cooperation, tranquility, and universal prosperity, but how will this be achieved? Sermons during those days can, must, and will say much about how this will happen. But under it all—behind Christ returning, Satan being removed, and new Spirit-born kings and priests supporting the Prince of Peace—will be the building blocks of a new world order: the family.
Jeremiah on Marriage
Marriages are celebrated with joy and gladness, but the prophet Jeremiah describes how such joy and gladness is removed when sin brings destruction upon a nation. “Then I will cause to cease from the cities of Judah and from the streets of Jerusalem the voice of mirth and the voice of gladness, the voice of the bridegroom and the voice of the bride. For the land shall be desolate” (Jeremiah 7:34).
Interestingly, God commanded Jeremiah not to start a family of his own in the land that would soon go into captivity. “The word of the Lord also came to me, saying, ‘You shall not take a wife, nor shall you have sons or daughters in this place’” (Jeremiah 16:1–2). The verses that follow describe the horrific disaster about to fall upon the nation, when even women and children would die gruesome deaths. We know that Jeremiah’s life and that of his scribe Baruch were spared when Jerusalem fell to the Chaldeans. So, why was he told not to start his own family? Could not God have spared his wife and children, too?
Jeremiah’s actions were to be signs to the people, as were the actions of some other prophets. God’s instruction to Jeremiah not only told him what would happen to his nation’s populace, including the women and children—it explained that joy and gladness, as found in marriage, would be removed from the land. “For thus says the Lord of hosts, the God of Israel: ‘Behold, I will cause to cease from this place, before your eyes and in your days, the voice of mirth and the voice of gladness, the voice of the bridegroom and the voice of the bride’” (Jeremiah 16:9). To drive the point home, Jeremiah mentions this a third time (25:10). Even the future fall of Babylon will remove the voice of the bride and bridegroom (Revelation 18:23).
Family is a constant theme in God’s word. We rejoice today when a man and woman come together to form a new family, and Scripture gives special importance to this institution. Consider that Christ’s first miracle, turning water into wine, took place during a wedding festival. And the book of Ruth is all about family: first the tragic loss of Naomi’s sons and Ruth’s husband, then the colorful story of how she married Boaz, and concluding with a description of the lineage of David—and ultimately Jesus—arising from that union.
The Future of Family
One passage often read during the Feast of Tabernacles is found in Jeremiah 33, and I remember Dr. Meredith frequently referring to it in his Feast sermons during my early years in the Church: “Again there shall be heard in this place… in the cities of Judah, in the streets of Jerusalem that are desolate, without man and without inhabitant and without beast, the voice of joy and the voice of gladness,the voice of the bridegroom and the voice of the bride, the voice of those who will say: ‘Praise the Lord of hosts, for the Lord is good, for His mercy endures forever’” (vv. 10–11).
The world will rejoice over many things once Christ establishes His rule. War, oppression, pandemics, and poverty will end. We may first think of streams breaking out in the deserts, and of people healed from blindness, deafness, and crippling afflictions—but the thread of joyous family life is central. Nearly every year at the Feast, more than one speaker will read Zechariah 8:4–5: “Old men and old women shall again sit in the streets of Jerusalem, each one with his staff in his hand because of great age. The streets of the city shall be full of boys and girls playing in its streets.”
When we think about the wolves that will dwell with the lambs, the leopards that will lie down with the young goats, and the calves that will play peacefully with the young lions, let us not forget who will lead them all (Isaiah 11:6). And who will “play by the cobra’s hole” and “put his hand in the viper’s den”? Are they not the “nursing child” and the “weaned child” (v. 8)? We think about lions, bears, leopards, lambs, and goats, but behind this beautiful Millennial scene are the men and women who bring children into the world.
Begin at the Beginning
As strong marriages will be a feature of Christ’s Millennial reign, it is good to meditate on why this foundational institution will at that time be treated very differently than it is commonly treated today. The origin of marriage is lost in our current world. Few recognize that marriage is a divine institution ordained of God, as we say in our marriage ceremony. We also recognize that marriage is a type of the relationship between Christ and His Church (Ephesians 5:31–32; Revelation 19:6–9). It is easy to pass over this truth and not understand that the failure to understand it is at the heart of the world’s marital problems—and, sadly, it is also at the heart of marriage problems within the Church. Too many people just don’t get it!
Recognizing God as the author of marriage reminds us of His existence and His authority. At least three of the Ten Commandments directly address the family—the commands to honor one’s parents, to not commit adultery, and to not covet another’s wife or husband. Additionally, to take another’s lawful spouse is stealing, a violation of the eighth commandment. And how many murders have occurred to “free” someone to marry another? Some of the most high-profile criminal cases begin with adultery and end with murder—including, as we see in the pages of Scripture, the case of David and Bathsheba.
During the Millennium, there will be no doubt about God’s existence and His authority. There will be no more excuses nor suppressions of this truth in unrighteousness (Romans 1:18). People will come to understand who instituted marriage, who designed male and female, and who determines the role of each. Women will no longer deride Paul as a chauvinist and dismiss the man’s role as the head of his family unit (Ephesians 5:21–22). Men will come to understand the admonitions given by Peter, who was himself a husband (1 Peter 3:7; Matthew 8:14).
Books have been written about the differences between men and women, but the Apostle Paul presents a simple truth soberly and succinctly in Ephesians 5: Men are validated when they know that their wives respect them, and women are validated when they know that their husbands love them. So, why do these conditions usually prevail during courtship, but too often diminish after “I do”?
Before We Come to the Millennium
As we so often hear, Mr. Herbert W. Armstrong pointed out that marriage is not a 50/50 proposition. On the contrary, it is 100/100—which is essential for forming and maintaining a happy marriage. None of us is perfect, yet God never tells us to meet the other person halfway. Instead, He tells us what our individual and personal responsibilities are: love your wife, respect your husband. God expects us to do our part, regardless of what the other person does.
I was involved in many marriage counseling sessions during my decades as a field minister, and the similarity in counseling situations was remarkable. So often I would hear a woman describe a problem that I personally saw in myself, and the man would describe something that I saw in my wife. Many problems arise from innate differences between men and women, and people who divorce a spouse often find that the next one has the same frustrating traits.
Another repeated counseling pattern is how each blames the other. When questioned, each would admit that the only person anyone can change is the self, but almost immediately following that admission begin accusing the other. “If my spouse would do this, I would do that.” In other words, “I’ll meet my spouse halfway” in a 50/50 marriage. When we understand that the marriage relationship is a type of Christ and the Church, we see that Jesus did not meet the Church halfway. No, indeed—He went 100 percent of the way by giving His life for us “while we were still sinners” (Romans 5:8). We also see His love expressed in how far He went in His love for the faithless “congregation in the wilderness” (Acts 7:38).
Marriages and parenthood will not be handled perfectly during the Millennium. People will still struggle with human nature. However, two powerful destroyers will be removed—Satan the Devil and “the course of this world,” which he directs (Ephesians 2:2). In our age, he has confused men and women about their roles and responsibilities.
Those Who Will Rule
None of us can change our past, but we can change our here and now—and our future. It is true that there is far greater pressure on marriages and families in today’s world than there was in the past, but those who overcome those challenges will rule with Christ upon His return. We can bemoan the fact that our spouse is the way he or she is, or we can humble ourselves and get in line with God’s laws, thereby regulating and protecting our families.
I remember a couple I once counseled for marriage. It did not take great insight to realize that they were a mismatch. He had never been married—she had children from a previous relationship. She was older. She was more educated than he was. And when they took a professional marriage-preparedness evaluation, this mismatch was made clear.
The evaluation program spelled out the odds of a marriage working for a period of time, and their results suggested that their marriage would last less than a year. The odds of their staying together for three years were considered to be only 10 percent. When I showed them the results, the woman responded, “If it were zero, I would not go forward, but I like a challenge.”
I moved shortly after that, but they did get married—and the last I heard was that they were still married after three years. I lost track of them, but if they are still alive and together, I rejoice with them. This is not to suggest that this couple made a wise decision—according to Proverbs 22:3 and 27:12, they did not. However, their story illustrates something that too few understand: the value of determined commitment, even under difficult circumstances.
When I entered Ambassador College in the fall of 1965, Mr. Herbert Armstrong was able to report that there had only been one divorce among the graduates of the college. But that all changed when the Church deepened its understanding regarding grounds for divorce. The resulting change in policy was correct, but many couples who may have been struggling saw an exit—they took the path that looked easy on the surface, and they threw in the towel. Sadly, they could have taken a better course. They could have humbled themselves, submitted to God’s wisdom instead of their own, grown in godly character and love for one another, and provided a stable environment for their children.
As goes the family, so goes the nation—and the world. Whether in today’s world or tomorrow’s, those couples who look into the mirror to see their own shortcomings; who learn patience, tolerance, and forgiveness; who consider others as better than themselves; and who strive to fulfill their own God-given role in marriage can work out whatever problems they face. Let us learn the lessons now that we will teach others in the future.