One of the blessings which we have as women is the ability to express ourselves through each one’s personality. This is a valuable tool of communication if used properly. How we as Christian women come across to others is of the utmost importance—if we wish to set a good example.
Personality (according to Merriam-Webster Dictionary) is:
1. The collection of emotional and behavioral traits that characterize a person.
2. The distinction of personal and social traits.
Society has categorized personalities into two major types—with seemingly not much balance in between. Balance is the key:
Extrovert (Merriam-Webster): a gregarious person with no reserve.
Introvert (Merriam-Webster): a reserved or shy person.
To be gregarious (social) is fine up to a point, but to have no reserve is not. Reserve can also be carried to the extreme—to where a person can become anti-social—turning inward in one’s thinking—and can become reclusive.
Communicating through personality can be conveyed through language, facial expressions, and body language.
Personality Development
Personality is developed from early childhood on into adulthood with possibly a few inherited traits. A lot depends on our upbringing and the examples that we see around us from day to day.
If certain types of childhood behavior are not corrected in childhood, they can be carried over into adulthood and become habitual. For example: Quite some years ago I knew a couple (young adults) who had two young children. One of the mates had grown up with the habit of constantly exhibiting foolish behavior. The children were being strongly influenced by this parent’s constant foolish behavior to the point of mimicking this behavior. The other parent did not want the children to grow up to be foolish since they were a Christian family and God’s word instructs, “The devising of foolishness is sin” (Proverbs 24:9). Also in Proverbs 22:15: “Foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child; the rod of correction will drive it far from him.”
The Apostle Paul instructs in 1 Corinthians 13:11, “When I was a child, I spoke as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child; but when I became a man, I put away childish things.”
Childish behavior in adulthood can affect one’s personality to the point of being immature and can hinder spiritual growth.
I think most of us ladies can look back on our lives to certain experiences which we had before we were called and realize that we learned some valuable lessons which have become very useful to us as Christian women. I have looked back on several experiences in my life and found this to be true. Since this article concerns personality, I will relate one such incident here: my husband and I were acquainted with a couple who owned a filling station and mini-mart. We did business with them quite often and became friends. They were a very fine couple except the wife had a very quirky, off-beat, out-of-the-ordinary personality. One of the problems was that she would say or do certain things to create an uncomfortable atmosphere. I was around her more often than my husband because at times, as a favor, I would babysit her toddler daughter while she worked at the mini-mart—since I was a stay-at-home mom. Also at other times when her husband had to work late and my husband was out of town, she and I and our children would have dinner together and then we would take our kids to the drive-in movies.
A Common Sense Solution
Needless to say, it was quite a challenge to handle the negative aspects of her personality. However, having been brought up with a common sense background, I decided to use common sense with her unacceptable behavior. I would respond to her in a way that would turn things around to a more positive situation. Then we were able to enjoy each other’s company more fully. I came to realize that she evidently lacked understanding in certain areas—one of which was that one should not cross lines or overstep boundaries in personal relationships.
Lessons from Experience
Looking back on past experiences and learning from them, especially since receiving God’s Holy Spirit, has helped me in many ways. While living in Pasadena, California in the early 1970s, my husband and I would invite other couples over for dinner occasionally, when we had time from our busy schedules. He was attending Ambassador College in the daytime and also Pasadena City College at night. He was also pastoring the Santa Ana, California congregation. On one occasion the dinner guests arrived and after a few appetizers, we sat down at the dining room table for dinner. Everything proceeded along very well—with delicious food, fine ambiance, and very uplifting, enjoyable, and scintillating conversation. I was so pleased that everything was moving along so smoothly.
After dinner, we retired to the living room for after-dinner chocolates, a liqueur, and more enjoyable conversation (or so we thought). Shortly after we sat down, one of the guests proceeded to monopolize the conversation. No one could get a word in edgewise. Every time anyone would attempt to interject a comment or share in the conversation in any way, this person would start talking again, drawing the attention back to himself. Then all heads and eyes would have to turn back toward this person—again and again. I thought for sure that my neck would get whiplash since this continued on for the rest of the evening. I made a mental note to myself that this type of social behavior is certainly not conducive to being invited for dinner again.
In essence, this person ruined what could have been a nice ending to a very pleasant evening.
Old Habits Die Hard
Personality flaws are sometimes very difficult to recognize in oneself and, as we know, old habits do tend to die hard. However, as we truly seek to please our loving, kind and gracious Father in heaven, it would certainly be worth the effort in the long run to strive to eliminate the flaws and to enhance our individual personalities in any way that we can—as we continue to grow in holy, righteous and godly character—for we have a tremendous future ahead of us in God’s Kingdom!